


i couldn't change (though i wanted to);

by unintentionallyangsty



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - Fandom
Genre: (minor) - Freeform, (to an extent), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Conversations, Big Brother Thor (Marvel), Brodinsons, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Comfort, Communication, Confused Thor (Marvel), Conversations, Domestic Fluff, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Illnesses, Late Night Conversations, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Lives (Marvel), Mild Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Protective Thor (Marvel), Regressive Behavior, Shapeshifter Loki (Marvel), Shapeshifting, Sick Character, Sick Loki (Marvel), Sickfic, The Revengers - Freeform, The Statesman, Thor Needs a Hug (Marvel), Thor is a Good Bro (Marvel), hints of Thor/Bruce
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unintentionallyangsty/pseuds/unintentionallyangsty
Summary: Given the team's circumstances--travelling through the cosmos and headed for Midgard on a previously unplanned voyage--Loki taking up a newfound fondness for shapeshifting on a whim is hardly the weirdest thing that has happened to any single member of the Revengers in the past several months.In fact, it doesn't even make the top three.(Or; Three times Loki shapeshifts following Ragnarok, and one (1) time he does not.(Alternatively, how Loki unintentionally ends up bonding with the Revengers on theStatesmanas a number of different creatures)).
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Loki, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie & Loki (Marvel), Loki & Thor, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 59
Kudos: 178





	1. curiosity (the Valkyrie);

**Author's Note:**

> Loki & the Revengers. Takes place on the _Statesman_ , following the events of Thor: Ragnarok. Loki is alive and Infinity War has decidedly Not happened. 

It had been a long day. 

No, Val mentally corrected as she fell heavily into one of the chairs that had been set up in the makeshift bar they (she) had put together at the corner of the ship. It had been a long fucking _month_. 

Between settling half of a once mighty kingdom into a less than mighty cargo ship, coordinating the most efficient route to Midgard (and why Midgard of all places, she hadn’t a clue), and adapting to life in quarters closer that were less than strictly comfortable, with companions who were less than strictly well-adjusted… 

Suffice it to say that she needed a drink. 

With a heavy sigh, Val reached a hand out to pluck one of the bottles she’d left half empty on the edge of the bar the evening before, and blindly grasped for one of the dusty glasses to her right with the other. 

Normally, she considered wryly, she would not have bothered with a glass, and instead gone straight for the bottle. 

All things considered, however, she was trying (key word: trying) to limit her intake marginally. For the time being, that was. Supplies on the ship were limited, after all, and if the plan they had set in place was at all accurate, it would be another month before they stopped to refuel. 

Val nearly groaned out loud at the thought, though she limited herself to a brief grimace as she turned to pour herself a generous glass of the dark liquor--

Only for a movement from across the bar, near the door, to catch her eye. 

Slowly, as not to alert whoever (or whatever) had joined her to her having noticed the intrusion, Val finished pouring her drink, before she moved to set the bottle down on the bartop with a gentle _clack_. 

Out the corner of her eye, Val caught the movement again, and she inhaled a steady breath before downing half of her glass in one go, and turning with a wry smile to face the guest. 

She had anticipated Thor, or even Korg, maybe. 

What the Valkyrie had not anticipated, however, was for her gaze to fall on a small, sleek looking magpie perched on the edge of the wooden bar, its eyes wide as it cocked its head to study her inquisitively. 

Val blinked, shook her head slightly, and blinked again. 

When the magpie remained, however, she was forced to concede that this was, indeed, happening. 

Somehow, this bright-eyed fledgling had survived over a month of space travel undetected, and was looking as fresh and healthy as if it had been out in the open air that very afternoon.

Not that it would have been the most fantastic phenomenon to happen in the Valkyrie’s life, over the past few weeks. It didn’t even make the top three. 

“Glad you’re feeling alright.” Val muttered, and raised her glass toward the bird in mock salute before draining what was left of the drink. “That makes one of us.”

In reply, the bird cocked its head in the opposite direction, before taking a small hop closer. 

“Don’t get familiar.” the Valkyrie warned drily, though the attempt was half hearted at best. “I’ve had a long week.” 

If anything, the magpie seemed to be able to detect the lack of fire behind her words, for it hesitated only briefly before springing forward another few inches, its wings rustling slightly as it neared. 

Val watched the movement out the corner of her eye, and noted with some amusement the way the bird seemed to bristle, ever so slightly, when she reached to snag the bottle from beside it. 

“Nothing you’d understand.” she lamented as she poured another glass, then paused and made a face. 

If she was conversing with a bird, her week had been longer than she’d initially thought. 

The thought firmly in mind, Val allowed herself to pour another healthy few inches of liquor into the glass, and took a long swig, following. 

As if taking advantage of her distraction, the little magpie moved so that it was beside her elbow now, and cocked its head curiously when Val placed the glass back down so that it was sat inches away from the creature. 

“It’s booze.” she explained with a small shake of her head. “I don’t think you’d like it. It’s pretty strong.” 

Her gaze fell away from the bird, then, and she allowed herself a somewhat derisive snort. “The Grandmaster didn’t fuck around when it came to liquor.” 

If the words were tinged with just a hint of bitterness, well, there was no one around to call her out on it. 

It was still odd, she considered as she took another sip, being off of Sakaar for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. Being here, on a crowded ship with a bunch of outcasts and vagabonds. 

Being here, acting as a Valkyrie and a member of the royal council. Exactly what she had sworn to herself she would never do again… 

With a grunt, Val allowed herself to slam the glass in her hand down on the wooden bartop with a bit more force than was strictly necessary. 

Beside her, the magpie jerked at the sound, and its wings fluttered unsteadily, almost as if it was considering bolting, before it took a tentative hop closer to the drink. 

“I told you,” Val snapped, “You’re not gonna like it. Leave it.” 

At the words, the bird bristled again, then spread its wings and sprung so that it could land on the corner of her glass, its tiny feet curling around the edge to maintain balance. 

“Hey!” Val cried, and raised a hand automatically to wave it at the bird. “Get off! Gross.”

If anything, the magpie seemed almost pleased at her chiding, and leaned forward to sip at her drink with enthusiasm. 

“Ugh,” Val wrinkled her nose. “Great.” 

For a moment, there was silence as the bird continued to peck curiously at the drink. 

Then, inexplicably, it seemed to realize that Val had lost interest, and glanced up with what Val would have almost called a _frown_ , were it not a fucking _bird_. 

“Alright,” Val raised her hand again to bat it at the bird and, this time, it conceded to fluttering off of her glass and landing a few inches away. “Fuck off. I need a break from weirdly intelligent creatures, right now.” 

Unsurprisingly, the magpie did not budge. Rather, it cocked its head again, and moved forward in a gesture that might have almost been mistaken as curious. 

Val held out another long moment, and continued to eye the bird warily, before she huffed and moved to take another long sip of her drink. 

What harm could it do, anyway? 

“I’m not used to this.” she admitted. The words came out softer than she had anticipated, and Val growled slightly before continuing, louder now, “This whole…‘Serve the throne, advise the king’ deal. I hadn’t really thought I’d be here again.” 

She glanced sideways, and found that the magpie was simply watching her studiously, its features, if possible, slightly more somber than before. 

With a huff, Val turned back to face her drink, and bit the inside of her cheek briefly as she considered her next words. 

“Thor’s alright, I guess.” she muttered. “A little headstrong, maybe, but…But he’s no Odin.” 

The words were entirely true, and Val felt some of the tension leave her shoulders as she spoke them. 

“He’ll make a good king.” she continued, and felt more than saw the magpie shuffle slightly at her elbow. 

When she turned again, the bird was studying the bottles lining the wall across from them, rather than Val herself, and she got the distinct feeling that it was acting in a somewhat begrudging manner. 

Or, she thought with a small huff, maybe that was just the alcohol talking. 

“And Bruce is okay.” Val spoke again, more to herself than anything now, as she studied the liquor swirling at the bottom of her glass. “I still prefer the Big Guy, but he seems to like Thor.” she paused, then snorted, “Seems to really like Thor.” 

To her surprise, the magpie let out a small, almost indignant sort of squawk, and Val turned to regard it with a small smirk. 

“I don’t know if it’s like _that_.” she conceded. “But I don’t know them well enough to say for sure.” 

She paused and, when it seemed that the bird was not going to do much more than continue to watch her, continued, “Know them more than Lackey, though.” 

Almost immediately, the bird shuffled again, and hopped back a few steps to regard her with those wide, speculative eyes. 

Val snorted again. “I guess I can admit to you that I can’t get a read on him at all.” she shrugged. “It’s not that he’s…antagonistic. Though apparently he has been, in the past.”

She paused, and made a face when the bird screeched again. 

“Those are Bruce’s words, not mine.” she told it. “Though I doubt Thor would speak a word against him.” 

The bird stilled slightly, before shifting again and taking another small hop back. 

“You’re jumpy.” Val commented with a slightly raised brow, before she turned back to her drink and paused thoughtfully. 

“He adores him.” she murmured, at length, so low the words were nearly indistinguishable. “Absolutely dotes on him. I--” she huffed, and turned to shoot the magpie a long look. “I don’t think he’d hear a word against him, at this point.” 

Beside her, the bird seemed to have stilled almost entirely, its breaths causing its rounded chest to rise and fall shallowly as it continued to study her with almost rapt attention. 

“Guess I have to like him.” Val admitted, and managed a slightly dry grin. “They’re pretty much inseparable, at this point. They way they look at each other…” 

She trailed off, and shrugged slightly before reaching for her bottle again. 

“They have issues.” Val commented, as she began to pour herself another drink. “I--” 

Before she could continue, the door to Val’s left slid open, and she had only enough time to turn and face the intrusion before Thor himself was striding into the room, a small, polite smile on his face as he briefly met Val’s gaze, before his own skittered away to survey the room. 

“Highness,” Val greeted, and raised her glass again before taking another swig. 

“Valkyrie.” Thor greeted with a small nod, “I trust that--” 

He cut himself off abruptly, then, as his gaze landed on a spot over Val’s shoulder, before his face brightened noticeably, and his smile widened into a sunny grin. 

“Brother!” he cried, and surged forward so that he was stood at Val’s side, his eye not on her at all but--

But on the _magpie_ , Val realized with a jolt. The magpie that was still perched on the bartop at her elbow, its wide gaze trained on Thor, now. 

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Thor continued jovially, though Val noted with some surprise that the smile on his face was a bit strained, now. “What--” 

“Thor,” Val interrupted smoothly, and leaned forward until Thor had little choice but to meet her eye. “That’s a bird.” 

There was a beat, wherein which Thor continued to study her blankly, before he huffed another small, weak sort of smile. 

“Oh,” he breathed, and shook his head as the smile widened a fraction further. “No. That’s Loki!” 

Immediately, the bird squawked again, and flapped its wings almost indignantly, and Val took a moment to simply stare in bewilderment before she turned to shoot Thor a dubious frown. 

“He’s a shapeshifter.” Thor declared, as if it explained _anything_ , and raised a hand to gesture at the bird. “He--He just does this. Sometimes.”

Before Val could reply (before she could even think of how to reply), the bird at her elbow flapped its wings, and flew forward to begin pecking furiously at Thor’s face, its tiny body almost a blur in the speed of its movement. 

“Ow,” Thor muttered, then, louder, “ _Ow_. Alright! I get it.” 

Something about the words seemed to appease the magpie, for not a moment later it settled, and landed on the edge of Thor’s already outstretched hand with another ruffle of its feathers. 

“I know,” Thor practically cooed, his attention almost entirely on the bird, now, before he continued lowly, “What’s happened, brother? Why…” 

Thor trailed off, then, though he did not need to continue, for the situation to catch up with the Valkyrie. 

That look, the glimmer in Thor’s eye… 

It was the same she had seen countless times, since the beginning of their voyage. 

It was a look he only held when his brother was in the same room. 

“Fuck!” Val cried, and staggered to her feet. 

Immediately, Thor stilled, and raised his free hand as if attempting to shelter the bird still perched on the opposite. 

The bird, that turned to face Val with those round, startlingly intelligent eyes. 

Of fucking _course_. 

“Fuck you!” Val cried and, ignoring Thor’s somewhat bemused expression, jabbed a finger at the magpie before striding past the two and out into the hallway. 

It was only when she had made it back to her own chambers (the chambers she, unfortunately, shared with the Asgardian Royals) that Val allowed herself to deflate, and felt the righteous anger that had been curdling within her gut ebb, somewhat. 

So the crown prince was a shapeshifter. Big deal. 

At the back of her mind, Val considered that she had known that, or at least had been informed of it, at some point. 

Again, it was hardly the most remarkable thing that had taken place in her life, recently. 

In spite of the realization, Val felt something within her gut shrivel slightly at the idea that she had, even unwittingly, shared so much information with Thor’s brother, at all. 

With a small sigh, more resigned than she would have liked to admit, Val moved forward to begin preparing her bedroll for the long evening ahead. 

She had already drank more than originally planned, though somehow she felt as if sleep would not come easily, that night. 

Not with the new information she had ingested in the past hour, at any rate.

\---

It wasn’t until the afternoon following the altercation that the Valkyrie saw Loki again, and by that time she had (mostly) made peace with the events of the prior evening, in her mind. 

She was somewhat pleased to find that the prince had shifted back to his Aesir form, at some point, and was currently poring over what appeared to be a set of schematics with Thor at the opposite end of the loading bay-turned-throne room. 

When Val caught sight of him, she staggered to a brief halt, and hesitated uncertainly for a moment as she watched Thor turn and mutter something to Loki beneath his breath. 

In turn, Loki nodded slightly, and leaned almost imperceptibly closer to his brother to murmur a reply. 

Something within Val warmed slightly at the sight, though she quickly shook herself of the feeling, and shifted in preparation to continue her trek through the hall--

Only to freeze again when she felt Loki’s gaze land on her, his expression a carefully blank mask, save for the slight widening of his eyes. 

And, when Val turned, the barely-there furrow of his brow. 

For a moment, the two simply studied each other, Val unable to force herself to move, and Loki simply watching her with that near unnervingly steady gaze. 

(And, for what felt like the millionth time since the evening before, Val cursed herself for not having recognized the familiarity of the magpie’s eyes sooner). 

Then, after what felt like a lifetime, Loki shifted slightly, and offered her a small nod, so shallow it was more a tilt of the head than anything. 

It was something, however, and Val found herself returning the gesture before she had fully registered her intention to do so. 

Seemingly satisfied, Loki quirked a ghost of a smile before turning his attention back to the plans Thor held, already nodding along to something Thor was saying and moving slightly closer under the guise of getting a closer look. 

With a huff, Val turned on one heel, and continued on her way, unable to quite quell the comfortable sort of familiarity that had lodged itself into the space between her ribs. 


	2. fear (Bruce Banner);

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting a bit early because i'm going out of town tomorrow, and won't be able to update on schedule. hope you enjoy !

Bruce Banner didn’t like to think of himself as the type of guy to hold grudges. 

Sure, there were one or two exceptions. He wasn’t keen on the idea of SHIELD getting too close, after what had happened with Ultron, and he figured that he probably wouldn’t be too happy to see someone like General Ross again, anytime soon. 

That being said, Bruce didn’t necessarily consider himself to be the kind of person who wouldn’t readily offer someone a second chance at redemption if they had proven themselves ready to change, and made a visible effort toward improving--but Loki was beginning to test his limits on those beliefs. 

It wasn’t that Loki had been openly antagonistic. In fact, he had almost seemed to have gone out of his way to avoid Bruce, whenever possible. The only time Bruce ever really saw him, he considered, was during council meetings, and the evenings spent in their shared quarters before lights out. 

So no, it wasn’t as if Loki appeared to be targeting him outright (a stark contrast to the Loki he’d witnessed wreaking havoc on Earth in 2012). Rather, it was Loki’s almost jarringly composed nature that had Bruce’s nerves wearing dangerously thin. 

If he didn’t know any better, Bruce might have considered that Loki was simply biding his time, and waiting for the opportune moment to lash out and reveal the more-familiar, snarling creature hidden just beneath the placid mask he’d worn since the beginning of their journey. 

The possibility of such a plan had seemed so realistic that, for the first two months of their time on the _Statesman_ , Bruce had found himself operating under the belief that it was simple fact, and that any moment Loki might turn on a dime and begin his reign of chaos, once more. 

It hadn’t happened, and it was at the three month mark that Bruce had had to concede that whatever animosity he had anticipated simply wasn’t going to reveal itself. 

Not anytime soon, at any rate. 

Following the revelation, Bruce had been left somewhat bereft, unsure then of how he should conduct himself around Thor’s brother, if not with wariness or, at times, outright suspicion. 

Loki, it seemed, had been perfectly content to continue on as if Bruce didn’t exist most of the time and, when he couldn’t, offer little more than a curt nod in his direction before continuing on with his day. 

Something had to give, Bruce knew, on either end, and at some point. 

It was a fact that he was reminded of with near startling clarity when, near the end of a particularly long and arduous council meeting, he reached across the table to grab his glass of water and, to his right, Loki flinched visibly. 

The movement itself was subtle enough that only Bruce seemed to have caught on, though, if the way Loki’s features abruptly closed off was any indication, he was painfully aware of his own reaction, and simply hadn’t caught it in time to stifle it. 

It wasn’t necessarily unexpected. From the way Loki had continued to act while in his presence--holding himself carefully and making a point of keeping a significant distance between them--Bruce had suspected that, to some extent, he still harbored some feelings of resentment over the incident with the Hulk. 

Nevertheless, Bruce couldn’t quite ignore the jolt of both guilt and (surprisingly) hurt that laced through his chest at the movement. 

He wasn’t stupid, after all. At the very least, he was observant enough to recognize that Loki had been struggling to find his place on the ship, over the past few months. 

And, though Bruce didn’t have all the details (Thor could be surprisingly tight-lipped, when he wanted), he assumed that, for a fallen prince/god who had allegedly betrayed his kingdom and attempted to take over an entire planet, finding a way to “fit in” again must have been something of an uphill battle.

Maybe that knowledge, he would consider later, coupled with the lingering guilt over Loki’s flinch, was the driving force behind the next words out of Bruce’s mouth. 

“Maybe Loki can help.” he interrupted, just as Thor was opening his mouth to continue discussing the ship repairs Bruce had been conducting. 

Beside him, Bruce felt Loki stiffen immediately, and watched as Thor and the Valkyrie’s features stilled in mirrored expressions of obvious surprise. 

Only Heimdall, it seemed, had managed to reign in his reaction, for he simply raised one brow fractionally, before glancing away again. 

Not that it was more or any less of a reaction than was typical, for him. 

“I just--” Bruce paused, floundering a bit, before turning to wave one hand vaguely in Loki’s direction. “You know a bit about mechanics, right?” he attempted, trying to get the conversation back on track. 

For a moment, there was only silence, and Bruce was beginning to think that he’d well and truly misstepped. 

Then, to his surprise, Loki offered a slow nod, and drew himself back up to his full height from the odd, hunched sort of posture he’d taken on. 

“I have some understanding.” he confessed, at length. 

“Great!” Bruce replied with forced cheer. “You probably, ah, understand more about the alien tech than I do.” 

At that, the corner of Loki’s mouth lifted ever so slightly. “I daresay that I might.” 

“Awesome.” Bruce deadpanned, before turning to face where Thor and Val were still eyeing him incredulously. “We’ll figure it out, then.” 

He decidedly did _not_ think about the fact that he had just volunteered to spend one-on-one time with Loki, the terror of Midgard, and an unpredictable megalomaniac, to boot. 

It was kind of difficult, anyway, when Thor was giving him the almost blinding grin he was, now. 

“That’s great!” Thor declared, before Bruce could so much as muster a smirk in return. “Awesome! I’ll let you two--um--” 

The brash scoff Loki exhaled cut him off, though Bruce noted that Thor’s smile didn’t dim even slightly as his gaze followed where Loki was already standing and making to exit the room. 

“Shall we, Doctor Banner?” Loki inquired drily. 

It was a front, Bruce realized abruptly, and he might have almost fallen for it, were it not for the subtle tightness around Loki’s eyes, or the somewhat forced quality to his smirk. 

It should have been a warning sign, but one look at Thor’s still almost painfully hopeful smile had Bruce surging to his feet, as well. 

“After you,” Bruce intoned, and hastened to follow when Loki merely nodded before striding confidently out into the hall. 

It was only when they were a good hundred feet from the makeshift council room that Loki slowed, and turned to shoot Bruce a look far more tentative than he had anticipated. 

“This is your area of expertise, is it not?” Loki inquired, and nodded in the direction he had been heading. “I’m afraid I’m not quite familiar with the direction.” 

Again, Bruce got the distinct feeling that the words were a cover for something, though after another few moments attempting to puzzle it out with no success, he simply hummed and offered a small nod. 

“Follow me.” he replied, and tried very pointedly not to think about how twisted it all felt, commanding Loki to follow him and, what was more, having him actually obey. 

The idea of it all made Bruce a bit dizzy, and he had to swallow thickly as before he turned the corner toward the back of the ship, and led Loki to their destination. 

Then, and only then, did Bruce fully register what an entirely, _outrageously_ stupid idea this entire venture had been. 

The room Bruce had spent the past week and a half working in was small--its only function seemingly to house the series of panels that conducted the ship’s basic electricity and heating functions. 

The limited space itself had never so much as occurred to Bruce, until he stepped into the room with Loki, and realized that he had essentially resigned himself to spending the next hour, at least, in the same darkened, enclosed space with the god. 

If the sudden, harsh intake of breath from behind was anything to go by, Loki had come to the same conclusion at relatively the same time, though his face gave nothing of his discomfort away as he stepped forward to pause at Bruce’s side. 

“Well, doctor?” he prodded, before Bruce could quite find his voice. “There’s a problem?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Bruce bobbed his head in a sort of half nod, before turning to pull the panel before them open with an ominous sort of creak. 

“It’s this that’s affecting the ship’s central heating system, I think.” he began, and gestured to the various, faintly glowing wires that sat tangled together behind the panel door before admitting, “But I don’t really understand the power source.” 

At the words, Loki hummed, and tilted his head slightly as he studied the mess of wires for a long moment. 

“Do you mind?” he inquired, after a moment, and turned to raise one brow in an inquisitive expression as he extended one hand in the direction of the panel. 

“Be my guest.” Bruce nodded, and took a step back when Loki returned the gesture before stepping forward to begin prodding curiously at the wires. 

For what must have been twenty minutes, they continued similarly; Bruce hovering silently, and watching as Loki pressed and prodded at the power system with the occasional hum of comprehension or confusion. 

Eventually, however, Bruce found himself growing slightly restless. He had, after all, sort of made the suggestion of Loki helping him in an effort to draw the prince further out of his shell, and standing there silently hardly seemed like the appropriate way to pursue the outcome. 

The thought firmly in mind, Bruce shifted slightly, and he cleared his throat (taking care to note how Loki immediately tensed minutely at the sound) before opening his mouth to speak. 

“You needn’t make an attempt on my account, Banner.” Loki muttered, almost offhandedly, and the next wire he turned his attention to was pulled from its socket with a bit more force. “I know why you called me here.” 

For a moment, Bruce faltered, his mouth opening and closing in a sort of gape that he might have been slightly embarrassed by, under any other circumstances. 

As it was, something about the sharp, rigid way Loki was holding his shoulders, or possibly the pointedly downturned tilt of his head, caused a sort of recklessness to surge to life within Bruce’s chest. 

“Oh. Yeah?” he inquired, as casually as he could manage. “What makes you say so?” 

There was a beat of silence, before Loki turned to offer him a wide, fractured sort of half-grin. 

“Let’s not be obtuse.” he chided, lightly. “If it’s Thor’s attention you seek, you needn’t feel the need to use me as a catalyst.” 

Bruce blinked, opened his mouth, and blinked again. 

There was no way that Loki was...But then… 

Was that _jealousy_? 

The idea was so far-fetched--so radically inane that Bruce nearly wrote it off without another thought. 

But then, there was the continued tension in Loki’s shoulders, and the way he had not quite turned to meet Bruce’s eyes, just yet. 

“I’m not trying to--to get anyone’s attention.” Bruce sputtered, after a moment. “I just thought—“

“Do not patronize me, doctor!” Loki interrupted, and turned to shoot him an ugly snarl.

Bruce realized, then, that he was dealing with a situation (an individual, and even a _relationship_ ) far beyond his reckoning. 

Nevertheless, he forced himself to swallow, and continued as steadily as he could manage, “I’m not trying to take your brother away from you.” 

It was a gamble, granted, and the way Loki immediately bristled at the words was hardly encouraging. 

However, his response was not nearly what Bruce would have anticipated. 

“He’s not my brother!” Loki snarled, before turning with a jerk to face the panel, again. 

“Or didn’t he tell you?” he continued on a sort of hissed breath. “About my alleged ‘adoption’?”

“Really?” Bruce pressed almost as soon as Loki had the words out, unsure of where this sudden nerve was coming from but determined, all the same. “Cause it seems to me like you’re not fooling anyone with that.”

“Shut up.” Loki snapped, though Bruce noted that his shoulders had begun to hunch, again. 

Something about the sight emboldened him, and he found himself taking a small step forward. 

“Why do you think he won’t accept you?” Bruce pressed, though he took care to keep his tone low and unobtrusive. “He--” 

“Shut _up_.” Loki repeated, harsher now. His breaths, however, had taken on an unsteady sort of quality. 

“He’s not gonna give up on you.” Bruce continued, and forced himself to ignore the warning bells going off at the back of his mind. “Not just because you continue to pull this ‘he’s not my brother’ shit.” 

He paused, then added, “Even if that’s what you’re trying to achieve.” 

Bruce knew the minute the words were out that he had misstepped, particularly when Loki fairly growled before turning to face him with wide, slightly too bright eyes. 

“Cease speaking!” Loki snarled, then, his shoulders tense to the point of nearly reaching his ears, now. 

Oddly enough, Bruce didn’t feel alarmed at the sight. 

In fact, if anything, he felt somewhat bizarrely encouraged. 

“Not until you start being honest with me.” he intoned lowly, registering just how ridiculous the demand was at the back of his mind, yet not quite able to stop himself from speaking it, all the same. “Why do you keep pulling away from him?” 

He was angry, Bruce realized with a sudden, almost detached sort of jolt. Not necessarily with Loki, and not even with the situation at hand. 

But something...something about Loki’s continued, self-imposed misery…

Or possibly the continued, relentless way he had seemed to scorn Thor’s affections at every turn, despite the fact that he very obviously seemed to thrive on them. 

“Enough,” Loki breathed, lower and more unsteady than Bruce considered he had ever heard him speak, and averted his wide and somewhat wild eyes to study somewhere over Bruce’s left shoulder. “Enough!”

Bruce shook his head minutely, and took another step closer, despite the tightening at the back of his throat. 

“Not until--” 

“Enough!” Loki interrupted, almost desperately now, and his lips parted in an ugly snarl. 

Then, to Bruce’s dismay, he skittered a small step back against the wall with a ragged sort of exhale. 

“I’m warning you, mortal. You don’t--I--” Loki cut himself off, then, and inhaled a sharp unsteady sound. 

And, even as he continued to watch Bruce’s approach with a naked sort of fear glimmering just behind his eyes, Bruce took another step forward so that the two were stood less than a foot apart. 

“What are you afraid of?” Bruce murmured, so quietly the words were nearly inaudible beneath the hum of the ship. 

They were heard, however. For the minute they were spoken, Loki reared back as if he had been struck, his eyes wide and expression twisted--

Then, he wasn’t there at all. 

Bruce blinked, and felt the muscles in his shoulders all tense simultaneously as he surveyed the space Loki had been standing, moments before, in a sort of stunned bewilderment. 

He had seen Loki teleport before, of course--a number of times, in fact. Loki had seemed to develop a sort of twisted fondness for simply blipping out of a room whenever he lost interest in a conversation, or when someone said something that happened to spark his ire. 

So yeah, Bruce was used to seeing Loki simply disappear without warning when frustrated or, apparently, panicked. That was nothing new. 

What _was_ new, however, was the small bundle of dark fur sitting huddled at the far end of the room, curled so tightly in on itself it looked more like inkstain on the floor than a creature. 

In fact, Bruce might have doubted that it was a creature at all, if not for the way the bundle shifted, before blinking up at him with entirely too-large blue eyes and _mewling_. 

_Shit_. 

“Alright,” Bruce breathed, and fell into an awkward, hesitant sort of half crouch as he continued to eye the small kitten before him with a growing sense of dread. “Uh--Alright.” 

He had known, somewhere at the back of his mind, that Loki could do-- _that_. Either Thor had mentioned it at some point, or Bruce had read it in the debriefing files SHIELD had provided him with, all those years ago on the Helicarrier. 

Whatever it was, Bruce considered distantly, it didn’t necessarily make a difference right now.

Not when Loki (or, what he assumed was Loki) was sitting across from him on the cold floor of the ship, shivering visibly and currently a _kitten_. 

Right. There was that. 

“Uh, hey--” Bruce cleared his throat a bit, before deciding that the best course of action currently would probably be to make himself as un-intimidating as possible, and shifted so that he was sat cross-legged across from the kitten. “Hey…Loki?” 

If the kitten understood him, nothing about its body language or continued, unwavering gaze gave it away, and Bruce was suddenly struck by the (somewhat alarming) realization that he had no idea just how much Loki _could_ understand, in this form. 

Was this still Loki he was dealing with, or simply a particularly wary animal that had no idea who he was, or where they were? 

“Hey,” Bruce repeated, and reached a hand out tentatively between them, only to falter when the kitten let out a low hiss and backed further up against the wall it was already pressed against, its breathing speeding notably. 

“Alright,” Bruce agreed immediately, and drew the hand back slowly. “I’ll keep my hands to myself.” 

They sat in mutual silence for another few minutes, the kitten quivering against the wall and Bruce continuing to study it with as neutral an expression as he could manage. 

“So no chance that you’re gonna change back, then?” he muttered, after a while, and huffed slightly when the kitten merely blinked at him in reply. 

“Right,” Bruce chuckled humorlessly. “Do you, uh--Do you wanna go back to the room, then?” he jabbed a thumb over his shoulder toward the entrance to the small alcove. “I gotta admit, I’m not real excited about the idea of leaving you to wander around on your own. I don’t think Thor would be happy.” 

At the words, the kitten stilled almost immediately, before it slowly uncurled, and its eyes widened a fraction further. 

“What?” Bruce inquired almost automatically, before what was happening caught up with him abruptly. 

_Oh_. 

“Thor?” he repeated, and was rewarded by the kitten taking a small, almost hesitant step further away from the wall. 

Maybe there was more of Loki in there than Bruce had initially anticipated, though it seemed as if he’d been broken down to the bare essentials of what made him Loki; tension, suspicion, razor-sharp instincts… 

And Thor, apparently. 

“You want to go see Thor?” Bruce inquired, and nearly grinned outright when the kitten cocked its head slightly and let out another small mew. 

“Okay.” Bruce agreed with an amiable nod. “Uh, sure. Do you…” He reached out again, only to falter when Loki immediately stilled, and drew away again with a visible shudder. 

This time, however, Bruce allowed his arm to remain outstretched, and met the kitten’s now unsteadily flitting gaze evenly. 

“We--” Bruce sighed, and shifted so that his arm was held looser at his side--less intimidating. 

“We can’t keep doing this,” he murmured, after a beat. “This whole--’poorly hidden distrust’ thing.” 

When the kitten did not do so much as blink in reply, its eyes remaining pointedly downturned, Bruce sighed again. 

“I know you don’t trust me or--or the Hulk.” he winced, but hastened to continue when the kitten’s eyes snapped back to his at the words. “And it’s hard for me to trust you, yeah.” 

He thought, suddenly, of Loki stood in the dead center of the cell built for the Hulk, eyes glinting brightly with the sharp edge of madness and teeth pulled back into a garish twist of a smile, and felt himself tense involuntarily. 

The movement, it seemed, was not lost on Loki, for the kitten stilled in turn and drew back another inch. 

“But I’m tired of it.” Bruce continued, before the creature could bolt entirely. “I’m sick of this--this dancing around each other. I don’t know if you even care, but--” 

He paused, and inhaled sharply through his nose before pressing on. 

“But you seem to care about Thor.” Almost immediately, some of the tension fell from the kitten’s wiry frame, and Bruce could not stop the wry chuckle that escaped him. 

“I do too.” he admitted quietly. “And he seems to trust you, so that’s enough for me.” 

There was another beat, before Bruce glanced upward again to find the kitten studying him openly, its head slightly cocked and paws perched demurely in front of it. 

“And I don’t even know if you understood a word I just said.” Bruce huffed, before fully extending the arm hanging awkwardly between them again. 

This time, the kitten only twitched. 

“Ready to go see your brother?” Bruce inquired. 

To his shock, the kitten merely mewled before striding forward to butt its head gently against the palm of his hand. 

“Guess I’ll take that as a yes.” Bruce grinned. 

\---

Despite Loki’s seemingly newfound boldness, it still took Bruce nearly five extra minutes to convince the kitten to climb into his outstretched palm so he could tote him back to the council hall he was relatively certain Thor would still be in. 

He still wasn’t keen on the idea of allowing Loki to trot along at his heels--more because the kitten was so damn _small_ that he feared someone might accidentally trample it if they weren’t careful, than anything. 

And, even though he eventually did succeed in getting Loki to crawl into hold, the kitten began to shiver almost as soon as he settled and Bruce slowly got to his feet, and did not stop even as they wove their way carefully through the halls of the ship and back toward the council hall. 

“If he’s not here,” Bruce began as they slowed to a stop outside the door to the room. “I’m sure he’ll be back in the room. Don’t get upset.” 

As if just to be contrary, the kitten let out a little, unhappy yowl, before it turned to eagerly face the door. 

With a sigh, Bruce reached out to tap at the keypad on the wall and, to his relief, watched as the door slid open to reveal Thor and Heimdall still seated at the end of the long table. 

“Banner!” Thor greeted with a small smile, and straightened from his previously hunched position as Bruce entered the room--

Only to falter, his face immediately falling, when he caught sight of the tiny creature held cradled in Bruce’s hands. 

“What happened?” Thor demanded, before Bruce could even open his mouth to speak, and stood to round the table so that he could fall to a stop at Bruce’s side. 

“I--” Bruce faltered, and glanced anxiously between Thor’s stormy expression and Heimdall’s own unreadable look, before hastening on, “I--It just happened. He--You know who this is?” 

“Of course.” Thor replied immediately, though his gaze had remained firmly trained on the kitten that was now, to Bruce’s surprise, meowing rather noisily and clamouring to get out of Bruce’s grip. 

“What happened?” Thor repeated, when Bruce did not immediately reply, and raised a hand to scoop the tiny creature out of Bruce’s hold with an almost practiced sort of ease. 

“He, uh--He got nervous, I think.” Bruce explained, and flexed his now empty hands somewhat anxiously. 

To Bruce’s surprise, Thor merely hummed and nodded, one hand already rising to scratch at the space between Loki’s ears. 

Loki, who was practically melting in his brother’s hold, his eyes having fluttered so close to shut that only a slit of blue was still visible. 

“He used to do this,” Thor muttered, low enough that there was little risk of startling Loki out of his doze. “When he was younger and he got--got startled. Or upset.” 

Bruce fought a wince at the words. “Always this?” he inquired, and nodded down at the kitten when Thor raised a curious brow. “A--a kitten, I mean?” 

“Sometimes.” Thor shrugged slightly, and shifted so that the kitten was tucked carefully against his shoulder. “Sometimes other things, but when frightened…” he trailed off, though the lack of words spoke for themselves. 

Bruce nodded, and took a small step back to place his hands in his pockets, rather than allowing them to continue to fidget. 

He spent the next few moments simply watching as Thor continued to stroke the tiny kitten’s head, crooning softly beneath his breath and slowly rocking on the balls of his feet. 

As if he’d done this a number of times, Bruce realized distantly. Like he’d had more than enough practice. 

Before he could quite stop it, Bruce was struck suddenly by the idea of a much smaller Thor, all golden curls and toothy grins, cradling a similarly tiny black kitten between his hands and toting it through the grand halls of a once-grand palace. 

Something within Bruce twisted slightly at the thought, and he shook himself slightly back to the present when Thor spoke again. 

“What frightened him?” Thor was inquiring, and finally tore his gaze from the kitten long enough to glance up and meet Bruce’s eye. 

“Ah,” Bruce coughed slightly, and buried his hands deeper into the pockets of his pants. “I--We had a bit of a disagreement.” 

No need to sugarcoat things, he figured. Thor would likely be able to see right through him, either way. No point denying the inevitable. 

As it turned out, Thor simply hummed again at the information, and nodded as if the answer was the most reasonable and natural thing in the world. 

Something about the easy acceptance made a sudden warmth burst within Bruce’s chest, and he had to glance hastily away when Thor offered a small smile. 

“I think he thought it was a--a Hulk situation.” he admitted, and felt more than saw Thor’s smile dim, slightly. “He freaked out a little and, uh--” 

Bruce gestured a little lamely at the kitten that was lounging, now almost entirely asleep, against Thor’s shoulder. 

“Ah,” Thor nodded again, before his attention turned back to Loki. “I thank you for bringing him to me.” 

“It’s--” Bruce huffed slightly. “It’s no big deal.” 

“Hm.” Thor nodded absently, before turning to nuzzle slightly at the kitten’s head as a slight frown marred his features. 

And, in spite of everything within him telling him to retreat now, Bruce faltered. 

“Everything okay?” he murmured, and felt his heart twist when Thor’s features only tightened further. 

“He,” Thor breathed, before something within him seemed to fracture, and he turned fully to bury his face into the fur atop Loki’s head, and allowed his eye to drift closed with a sigh. “He hasn’t done this in--in a long while.” 

“You think it’s a regression.” Bruce ventured, though in truth he had little to no idea of what that might entail. 

To him, a ‘regression’ might have meant faltering back to old and traditionally juvenile behaviors such as a fear of the dark, or crying out for one’s mother after a nightmare. 

Not necessarily shapeshifting into a cat when frightened or overwhelmed. 

Nevertheless, Thor’s face stilled at the words, before he offered a curt sort of nod. 

“Perhaps,” the king murmured, before hiking the kitten further up onto his shoulder. 

And Bruce watched, in something like fascination, as Loki shifted in turn to tuck his face into the crook between Thor’s neck and shoulder with a soft, almost-purr. 

“I think we should retire.” Thor was saying, and turned to shoot Bruce a thin smile. “At least until he’s feeling up to…” 

_To shifting back,_ were the words that went unspoken. 

Or, maybe, _To talking_. 

Bruce nodded hastily, and took a step back to grant a clear path to the doorway. 

“Right,” he offered a small smile. “I--Let me know if you need anything.” 

“We will.” Thor promised and, just for a moment, his smile melted into something slightly warmer. “Thank you again, Bruce.” 

And, before Bruce could muster a reply, Thor strode forward and out of sight entirely, one hand still holding Loki gently against his shoulder as if he was toting something inexplicably precious. 

And, Bruce considered, maybe he was. 

“Do they--Is it always like this?” Bruce stammered, at length, and turned to shoot Heimdall a slightly bewildered look. 

Unsurprisingly, he found that his confusion only grew when Heimdall offered him a slightly wry smile, in turn. 

“You would be surprised.” the Gatekeeper quipped, before standing and, with one last glance in Bruce’s direction, exiting the hall as well. 

Which left Bruce alone to sigh heavily, and hesitate only a moment before staggering to take a seat at the now empty table. 

This was his life now, he supposed. 

And, in all honesty, he couldn’t quite find it within himself to be irritated at the fact. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ever fragile relationship between Bruce and Loki is one of my favorite things, particularly in Revengers-centric fics. ily Bruce Banner
> 
> (also i'm away from my computer until the end of this week, so if i don't get to your message very quickly, that's why. ty!)


	3. illness (Thor);

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lost track of when i was supposed to update so tuesdays it is !

In all honesty, Thor didn’t think that it was fair to expect everyone to have fully adapted to a simulated day cycle, controlled by something as simple as the activation of an artificial light system, in less than 6 months time. 

However, it seemed to be the expectation everyone was operating under, and he usually found himself at the mercy of several stern glares from several members of what remained of the royal council, if he did not adhere to the schedule accordingly. 

Which, Thor considered, was possibly a little petty. They were all still adjusting to this new and foreign lifestyle, after all. Certainly there was some room for error, given the circumstances. 

(And the fact that he already had a history of oversleeping and missing the first half hour, at least, of any meeting where his presence was expected that happened to be scheduled before noon? Coincidental). 

This being the case, Thor could not hold back a little groan of misery when he awoke to the sound of several footsteps outside the door to his chambers, and the Valkyrie and Bruce’s bedrolls already long empty. 

Judging by the brightness of the overhead lights, Thor concluded that it had been “daylight” for some time, though he could not for the life of him quite manage to mentally dredge up the answer to whether or not he had missed (or was in the process of missing) a council meeting that morning. 

The fact that he had not awoken to the Valkyrie shaking him awake and demanding to know what he was still doing in bed, however, was hopeful in itself. 

With another small groan, Thor rolled over and managed to sit up in bed, one hand already rising to rub wearily at his good eye--

Only to falter when his eyes fell on the bedroll in the corner, still occupied by Loki, his hair in utter disarray and shoulders rising and falling shallowly in what was almost certainly genuine sleep. 

Almost immediately, Thor felt a small frown tug at the corners of his mouth at the sight. He could count on one hand the amount of times he had awoken on the _Statesman_ and found Loki still asleep in the same room-- and even then, the rare occasion had been during those first few weeks, wherein which they were all recovering from wounds sustained during the battle on the Rainbow Bridge, and had little care for much else beyond catching up on sleep they desperately needed. 

Typically, however, Loki had a careful routine set in place. If he could manage it, he would come to bed much later than the others, and ensure that everyone was asleep, or near enough to it, before he allowed himself to relax even minutely. 

And, similarly, he would awaken early enough the next morning that there was little to no chance of anyone having woken up before him. 

Thor had caught on to the behavior quickly enough, and thought that, at this point, he knew his brother well enough to understand the reasoning behind it without having to be told outright. 

Loki had, after all, ever hated being vulnerable in the presence of others--particularly those he did not consider himself to know well. 

Sleep, it seemed, was no exception, which made it all the stranger that Thor was allowed this moment to watch his brother continue to rest easily while he was still in the room. 

Or--Possibly not ‘easily’. Thor felt his frown deepen slightly and narrowed his eye as he took in the slight, barely there raspiness to each of Loki’s shallow exhales. 

A fact that did little to ease the tension he could feel beginning to tighten in the space between his ribs when he stood to take a few steps closer to where Loki was laid out, and Loki still did not so much as twitch. 

For a brief moment, Thor toyed with the idea of simply leaving him. Perhaps he needed the extra bit of sleep, after all. He had been working nearly morning to night just as the rest of them, only everyone else seemed to have at least a semi-regular sleep schedule set in place. Whereas Loki… 

Seeing Loki sleep more than half a night at a time was remarkable in itself. 

So Thor hesitated, and bit his lip as he prepared himself to turn in search of his boots, only for a small, breathless keen from Loki to draw him up short. 

“Loki?” Thor whispered, and knelt so that he was crouched a few feet from his brother’s side. “Are you awake?” 

The silence that followed the inquiry was so drawn out that Thor nearly threw caution to the wind and reached forward to prod at Loki’s shoulder, before Loki himself shifted and, with another muffled groan, sat up to peer blearily at Thor through the mess of dark curls cascading over his face. 

For a moment, the two simply stared at each other in seemingly equally stunned silence, Thor’s mouth gaping slightly and Loki’s eyes almost startlingly wide. 

Then, before Thor could quite recover himself, Loki inhaled sharply, and reached up to hastily push most of his hair out of his face. 

“Thor?” he croaked, and pulled an almost confused face before clearing his throat and repeating, “Thor. What’s happened?” 

“What--” Thor shook his head slightly. “Nothing--Nothing’s happened, Loki. Are you…” 

He trailed off, the brief glare Loki shot him effectively silencing any concerns he felt ready to voice. 

“Why did you wake me?” Loki continued, his voice still ever so slightly raspy even as he drew himself up and raised the opposite hand to help tame his curls into place. “What could possibly be so important that you felt the need to lurk over my bed in the middle of the night like some hulking creature--” 

“Night?” Thor interrupted, and could not quite find it within himself to feel properly chagrined at the second glare he received for his trouble. “Loki, it’s morning.” 

There was a beat, before Loki’s face twisted, and he cast his gaze up to the lights overhead with a small frown. 

“Morning.” he repeated blankly. Then, “You’re certain?” 

“Fairly so.” Thor replied, though he was beginning to feel less certain by the moment in the face of Loki’s own blatant uncertainty. 

He paused then, and took a moment to simply study Loki, who was still glancing warily around the room, before venturing, “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine.” Loki snapped automatically, though the harshness of the tone was somewhat belied by the way he began to rub sleepily at one eye not a moment later. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I--” Thor frowned, and fell back to sit on his heels as he watched Loki’s gaze shift to settle on his lap; the very picture of demure indifference, had Thor not known any better. 

He did know better, however, and knew well that there was likely a storm brewing just underneath the surface of the carefully composed cover, given that he’d crossed a very clear line of privacy that Loki had drawn in the proverbial sand that served as the foundation of their still somewhat fragile relationship. 

Or, Thor considered somewhat distractedly, this typically would have been the case, though for all that he could see before him, Loki was displaying none of his usual tells that might have spoken at an underlying irritation. Not the subtle tightness of his jaw, or the furrow between his brows… 

In fact, Thor realized, looking at Loki now, he would almost assume that he was-- 

Distracted, maybe? 

“What?” Loki snapped in the face of Thor’s continued, contemplative silence, and raised the hand to rub wearily at his eye again. “What do you want?” 

_Perhaps more cranky than distracted_ , Thor thought, and hesitated another moment as he carefully considered how best to continue the conversation.

If he knew Loki (and, he liked to think that he did, though possibly not as well as he might have once, or might have now wished), he knew that there were very few ways to shut the conversation at hand down quicker than to ask outright what the matter was. 

However, he was also painfully aware of the fact that allowing the topic to die out entirely would mean risking it never being quite so easily approachable again. 

And, as Thor took another long moment to study his brother, really _study_ him, he knew that his decision had already been made. 

For as uncertain and foreign as Loki had become to him, over the past several years, there were some things that never seemed to change. 

The bright spots of color high on his sharp cheekbones, for example. Or the dark circles stamped beneath his eyes… 

They were tells Thor had known to keep an eye out for in his brother as early as adolescence, and had seen countless times before that. 

Loki was--or was well on his way to becoming--ill. 

Whether or not Loki himself was yet aware of the fact was yet to be seen. By all appearances, he was simply irritated at Thor’s continued company and incessant questions, and had already begun to curl in on himself beneath the continued scrutiny. 

The way he was continuing to scrub at his face with the heel of one hand, however, not bothering to hide his yawning from Thor’s view… 

If he was not quite aware of what was happening, Thor determined, he would be soon. 

“Nothing.” Thor replied, at length, and shot Loki a thin smile when his brother turned to face him in bewilderment. “I’m sorry I woke you.” 

Loki blinked slowly, as if not quite taking in what he was hearing, before he offered a somewhat weary shrug and turned back to studying his knees. 

“S’fine.” he murmured, the words slurring together uncharacteristically, and Thor considered that he might have to readjust his initial determination of just how sick Loki already was. 

“Are you coming to breakfast?” Thor questioned brightly, rather than addressing the issue head on, and stood to retrieve his boots from the corner of the room. “I haven’t seen Heimdall or the Valkyrie yet, so I’m relatively certain that we have a free morning.” 

Normally, Thor thought, Loki would have already caught on to the fact that he had woken late, as well, and would be in the process of ribbing him mercilessly for the mistake. 

As it was, Loki simply hummed distractedly, before shifting so that his back and head were resting on the wall behind. 

“You go on,” he waved one hand vaguely when Thor turned to raise an unimpressed brow. “I’ll be along in a moment.” 

“I--Alright.” Thor agreed reluctantly, and nodded slightly before quickly finishing dressing, and strode across the room to hover briefly by the door. 

“Meet you down there?” he called to where Loki was now studying where his hands were rested atop his knees, rather than meeting Thor’s inquisitive gaze. 

“In a moment.” Loki repeated hollowly, already turning back over to shift his blanket further up onto his shoulder even as Thor continued to watch. 

Something about the sight made Thor’s stomach twist, though he simply offered a small nod, before reaching for the keypad beside the door. 

“In a moment.” he echoed, and, even then, knew that he was inevitably going to be disappointed. 

\---

Two hours later, and Thor had to admit that he was waiting for nothing, at this point. 

He had put off wandering into the dining hall for as long as possible; allotting Loki time to sort himself and arrive on his own terms, if he was planning on arriving at all. 

Inevitably, however, the gurgling within Thor’s stomach had won out, and he had found himself hastening to the hall before breakfast ended entirely. 

Not, he considered, that he would not have been able to find someone eager to prepare him breakfast at pretty much any time of day, should he make an attempt. 

Something about using his status to gain something as simple as a meal, however, when food was already so scarce, did not sit right with him. Not now. 

Which meant that Thor was left speeding toward the dining hall less than an hour before breakfast was scheduled to conclude, praying fervently that there would be at least a few shares of rations left by the time he got there. 

To his slight disappointment, Thor did not immediately catch sight of Loki when he entered the hall, though he couldn’t muster the energy to even pretend to be surprised. 

He was surprised, however, to find the Valkyrie still sat at the end of one of the long tables, and hunched over a series of what Thor knew to be supply lists when he arrived, though she straightened and quirked a wry brow as he approached. 

“Look who it is!” she cried, and shifted down the bench she was perched on to give Thor room to sit. “Thought you’d never make it.” 

“Well, I didn’t wake up to you shouting in my face.” Thor sat gratefully and allowed his breakfast to fall to the tabletop with a clatter. “So I figured I had a relatively clear schedule.” 

“Relatively.” Val repeated, and leaned forward to swipe a piece of dried fruit off of Thor’s plate. “You looked like you could use the sleep.” 

Thor hummed, and chuckled slightly when he felt Val’s elbow dig (none too gently) into his side, before he turned to his meal and began to mechanically shovel spoonfuls of porridge into his mouth. 

Food on the ship was only ever really enjoyable in the few weeks following their stopping to restock supplies, and it had been nearly a month since they had last had the chance to do so. 

Which meant that Thor was intent on tasting as little of his rations as possible, currently. 

“Distracted?” the Valkyrie was asking and, though she had already turned back to study the papers before her, Thor could feel her keen gaze still trained on the side of his head. 

“Somewhat.” Thor replied vaguely, and hesitated a moment before inquiring, as casually as he could manage, “Have you seen Loki?” 

Despite Thor’s attempts at nonchalance, he felt the Valkyrie tense beside him almost immediately.

“Why?” she questioned, after a beat. 

“He hasn’t done anything.” Thor reassured, and turned to find Val facing him fully now, wearing a somewhat wary expression. 

“Never very promising when you have to start the conversation with that.” she replied drily. 

“You would have assumed so either way.” Thor grumbled, though Val’s expression remained unamused. 

In truth, Thor was relatively certain that the still somewhat tumultuous appearance of the relationship between Loki and the Valkyrie was more for show than anything, at this point. 

However, the fact did not quite quell the urge he continued to feel to step between the two and put a stop to any potential fights that might break out, before he had the chance to intervene. 

Sometimes, Thor wondered if this was how Frigga had felt, when he and Loki were young, and often at each other’s throats. 

The thought brought with it an unexpected pang, and Thor felt himself deflate slightly before he turned back to his meal. 

“I just haven’t seen him since I left this morning.” he explained, “I didn’t know if he’d been through.” 

Something about his tone must have given away some of Thor’s worry, for not a moment later Val relaxed her own posture and hummed lowly. 

“Haven’t seen him since this morning.” she echoed, her tone almost apologetic now. “But he looked like he could use the sleep, too.” she paused, then added, “Really.” 

The words did little to calm the rising tide of emotions swelling within Thor’s chest, though he forced a small smile onto his face, and nodded his thanks as he quickly finished the last of his meal. 

“I’d better go make sure he isn’t getting into anything he shouldn’t.” he joked, though the attempt was halfhearted, at best. 

And, if the somewhat pained expression on Val’s face was any indication, she was not fooled by the forced joviality. 

Not that she ever really was. 

“Cool,” she dismissed, before brandishing one of the papers in her hand. “Want to go over this later? I can meet you in the council room.” 

“Sure,” Thor agreed, and felt another surge of gratitude when Val simply nodded and (blessedly) allowed the conversation to end there. 

After pausing only long enough to bob another short nod, Thor turned and hastened out of the hall, the Valkyrie’s words already ringing through his mind on repeat. 

_He looked like he could use the sleep, too._

Had she somehow noticed some time ago that Loki was feeling poorly? Had Thor really been so obtuse that he had missed an obvious warning sign? 

The thought did not sit well with him, and by the time Thor made it back to the door to their chambers, his stomach was a massive knot of anxiety and displeasure. 

With a small huff, Thor hesitated briefly before reaching out to tap at the keypad on the wall in order to grant himself entry. 

When the door before him slid open, Thor initially thought that it was to an empty chamber. No sound was coming from the room before him and, when he stepped through the doorway, it was to find Loki’s bedroll empty and neatly tucked into the alcove he tended to sleep in. 

With a small sigh, Thor allowed his shoulders to loosen somewhat, though he was not so foolish as to feel heartened, just yet. 

If Loki was wandering the halls of the ship ill, after all, it would hardly bear any good tidings for anyone aboard. 

Least of all, Loki himself. 

Thor knew Loki to be stubborn, however, and knew that, even if he was fully aware of his own illness, he would likely continue to work and operate as if this were not the case, and until he physically could not anymore. 

Thor was determined not to let things reach that point, however, and he turned on one heel in preparation to exit the room and continue his search, only for something laid out on his own bed to catch the corner of his vision. 

While Loki and Banner tended to keep their own bedrolls neatly folded, when not in use, Thor had yet to pick up on the habit. Therefore, it took him another moment longer to pick out exactly what it was that had caught his eye, among the rumbled sheets and blankets that were sat atop his mattress. 

There was no doubt that there was something hidden there, however, particularly when the thing moved ever so slightly, as Thor continued to study the space vacantly. 

All at once, things clicked together in his mind, and Thor let out a weary sigh as he took another small step closer to the bed. 

“Oh, brother.” he murmured, and gazed in mingled concern and affection down at the small, luminescent green snake that sat curled atop his bedclothes. 

Prior to their falling out on the Bifrost (and didn’t _that_ particular memory do wonders to improve his mood), Thor considered that he had not seen Loki shapeshift more than a handful of times in the prior several hundred years. 

And, even then, it had only been when Loki was feeling particularly mischievous, and needed to change form in order to achieve something he desired. 

Long gone had been the days where Thor was unsure what manner of creature he would be walking in on, should he have chosen to enter Loki’s chambers unannounced-- and even more distant seemed the memories of Loki shifting simply because he was feeling overwhelmed or frightened. 

Or, Thor considered somewhat morosely, unwell. 

“What’s happened, brother?” he murmured, and paused only briefly before taking a seat on the edge of the mattress beside the snake. 

Unsurprisingly, the snake did not move, though Thor knew well enough by now to know that Loki was merely feigning sleep. 

And, though everything within him was screaming that he do so, Thor did not quite move forward to touch the creature, just yet. 

He had been similarly burned before, after all, when Loki was feeling ill and functioning with about half the impulse control he normally wielded. 

Which wasn’t a lot, even when he was in his Aesir form, Thor considered with a huff. 

“Why this?” Thor continued on what could barely be qualified as a whisper. “Why now? What’s gotten to you so badly that you’ve felt the need to…” 

Thor trailed off, and moved to study where his hands were clasped between his knees as he turned the situation over in his mind. 

In truth, he supposed that his own confusion over the sudden change in behavior was only half-founded, at best. 

For when had he last had the opportunity to spend more than a few hours in Loki’s company, prior to their hasty escape from Asgard? Any idea he thought he had of Loki’s personality that had developed following his fall from the Bifrost was, admittedly, already questionable. 

Whatever had taken place in Loki’s life, therefore, that had caused him to fall back onto this behavior… 

( _Regression_ , Bruce had said). 

Whatever had happened, it very well may have taken place before Thor had even clued in to the fact that his brother was still _alive_ , much less taken the initiative to repair what had fractured between them. 

At the realization, Thor exhaled sharply, before he turned to offer the tiny snake a small smile. 

He would have time enough later to determine the _why_. What was important now was simply making sure that Loki was comfortable.

“Not feeling well, huh?” Thor murmured, and reached out to run the tip of one finger lightly over the cool scales at the snake’s head. 

And, though Loki had no eyelids in this form, Thor got the distinct feeling that he was blinking his way wearily back to the current situation, at the touch. 

“It’s alright.” Thor crooned, as softly as he could manage. “You’re alright. You’re on--” 

He paused, suddenly hesitant to provide Loki with the entire truth of where and when he was. 

He knew, of course, that Loki was just as observant as any creature as he was in his Aesir form--if not more so. 

(Had been berated enough, in the past, for assuming otherwise). 

However, Loki did not shift for no reason, and Thor also knew that a good deal of it could be attributed to the fact that he was not necessarily ready to, or _expected_ to, fully acknowledge the details of his current situation. 

The thought firmly in mind, Thor hastily continued, “You’re safe.” and smiled thinly. 

If Loki recognized the sudden shift in conversation for what it was, he did not give any indication. Rather, he simply flicked his tongue out briefly, before moving to curl further in on himself. 

Thor felt something within him twist slightly at the sight, and continued to stroke at the snake’s head when it did not move away from the touch. 

“Would you like to stay here?” he inquired lowly, after a beat, though everything within him was insisting that he not let Loki out of his sight until his brother was ready to shift back. 

Particularly considering the possibility of Loki shifting back, ill and uncertain and _afraid_ , without Thor there to talk him down. 

Nevertheless, Thor pushed the concerns hastily to the back of his mind. This was about _Loki’s_ comfort, after all. 

“I could make sure no one comes in.” he continued, “You could stay like this as long as you need.” 

Before the words were fully out, Thor was struck suddenly by the memory of himself at a much younger age, hovering anxiously by his mother’s bedside as she cradled a tiny wolf cub in her arms, and cooed softly to the creature beneath her breath. 

_‘When will Loki come back?’ Thor had demanded, then, anxious for his playmate to return and keep him company._

_‘My sweet Thor,’ Frigga had whispered, and raised a free hand to run it through Thor’s hair, ‘This **is** your Loki.’ _

_At the words, Thor had wrinkled his nose in distaste._

_‘He doesn’t want to play or talk,’ he had protested, ‘And he doesn’t **look** like Loki.’ _

_Ever patient, Frigga had only chuckled, before moving to scratch lightly at a spot behind the wolf cub’s ear._

_‘He will change back soon.’ she had informed calmly, as if she had dealt with the situation hundreds of times before. ‘For now, let’s just give him as much time as he needs.’_

Now, Thor could not remember what exactly had caused his brother to shrink back into the form of a wolf cub, small enough to curl comfortably into the warm pocket of Frigga’s arms and nap contentedly for the remainder of that afternoon. 

He could, however, remember finding _his_ Loki, back in a more familiar form and curled in his bed across from Thor’s, the following morning. 

And, when he had bombarded Loki with questions about the sudden shift, could remember his brother being able to offer very little by way of answers, and had been old enough even then to know to wisely retreat when Loki had grown sullen and withdrawn at the continued, rapid-fire line of questions. 

The serpent curled atop the comforter beside Thor now did not seem particularly inclined to react to the attempts at conversation, either, though he did not seem at all irritated, to Thor’s relief. 

At the very least, he was not actively attempting to bite or stab Thor, which was a relief in and of itself. 

“Alright,” Thor agreed with a small nod, and shifted in preparation to stand and exit, again. “I have a meeting, but I’ll be back in a few hours. Do you--” 

He faltered, then, and watched in something close to awe as the snake uncurled slowly at the words, and seemed almost to yawn before it slid forward to curl the top half of its body over the edge of Thor’s thigh. 

Thor inhaled sharply at the movement, and moved a hand to run it almost reverently over the space just beneath the snake’s head.

“Loki?” he breathed. “Do--do you want me to stay?” 

If possible, the snake tensed slightly at the words, before it moved to rest its head gently into the crook of Thor’s elbow. 

Oh, Thor considered somewhat distantly. _Oh_. 

He remembered, suddenly, Loki’s fondness for shifting into snakes, during their late childhood, and how it would give him the capability of curling around Thor’s arm or shoulders, in order to be toted around the kingdom without being recognized or addressed outright. 

And, though it had been centuries since Loki had displayed such a need, Thor knew well enough to recognize the signs without being told twice. 

“You want to come with?” he offered, as casually as he could manage, and moved the hand currently stroking at Loki’s head to offer an open palm. 

There was a beat, before Loki slid forward and, simply bypassing the open hand, moved to curl himself around Thor’s shoulders like a loose scarf. 

_Right_ , Thor considered as his heart skipped what felt like three times over. This had been normal, at a time. He could adapt again. No problem. 

“Alright,” he shrugged, and smiled with as much cheer as he could possibly muster. “Let’s go.” 

Despite Loki’s apparent laziness, he still curled slightly tighter around Thor’s shoulders as he stood, though he seemed to make a concentrated effort to relax, as Thor exited the room and began striding casually down the hall. 

As casually as he could manage, at any rate, with a snake very obviously hung about his shoulders. 

There had been a time, he considered somewhat ruefully, that the sight of Thor, Prince of Asgard, traipsing through the kingdom with a snake either hung on his shoulder or wound about his arm, was commonplace. 

That had been several centuries before, however. Now, Thor was pointedly aware of every poorly-hidden stare that followed him down the hall, as he made his way to the council hall with half-feigned confidence. 

Around his shoulders, Loki did not seem to have noticed the attention, though Thor knew better than to think that he was entirely oblivious. In his Aesir form, Loki was notorious for noting even the finest of details in whatever situation he found himself in. 

And, though the snake curled loosely around Thor’s shoulders now may have seemed blissfully unaware of its surroundings, for this to be the actual truth would have meant that Loki was feeling very poorly indeed. 

The thought made Thor’s stomach tighten slightly further, though he forced himself to continue unfalteringly down the hall, and simply raised a hand to run it soothingly over the snake’s head as the traffic around them thickened somewhat, and the murmur of the crowd grew slightly in volume. 

“Almost there.” he murmured, before slowing to a stop before their intended destination. 

It was likely that the Valkyrie was already inside, and possibly Heimdall, as well, and Thor felt himself falter as he considered how best to handle the situation, should they ask about his somewhat obvious companion. 

And, knowing the Valkyrie, there would likely be questions. 

With a small sigh, Thor determined that there was nothing for it. If there were questions, he would simply provide the truth as quickly and concisely as possible. Hopefully, that would be enough to satisfy everyone and allow them to continue on with the conversation at least somewhat painlessly. 

His mind made up, Thor extended a hand to punch at the keypad beside the door, and turned to inform Loki of their arrival before he turned to enter the room--

Only to falter to a stop as he took in not only the Valkyrie, but Heimdall and, oddly enough, Bruce sat around the end of the table nearest to the door. 

The second Thor stepped into the space, the previously casual conversation died out, and for a moment the two parties simply stared at each other in a somewhat stunned silence while Thor bit the inside of his cheek roughly, and forced himself not to simply turn on one heel and exit entirely. 

Then, before anyone else could quite manage to react, Heimdall quirked a small smile, and nodded as Thor took another small step into the room. 

“Highnesses.” he greeted, entirely too serene for the reaction he had to have known the single word would have. 

By the way the corners of Bruce’s own mouth had begun to creep slyly up, Thor suspected that he might have already begun to come to the realization on his own. 

The Valkyrie, however, glanced first at Heimdall, then back to Thor, her brow furrowed and eyes almost comically wide. 

“High--That’s--” she pointed at the snake around Thor’s shoulders with a pointedly raised brow. “Again? Really?” 

“What happened?” Bruce inquired, his voice already blessedly lowered, as if he wasn’t entirely sure that the snake was not sleeping. 

“It is.” Thor confirmed to Val with a small nod. 

“Is he good?” she replied, clearly not satisfied with Thor’s evasion of Bruce’s initial question. 

“He--” Thor paused another moment, before deciding that he was probably best off following his initial vow of honesty. 

“I think so.” he admitted with a small shrug, and raised his hand to run it gently over Loki’s head, again. “He wasn’t feeling well, so--ow.” 

Thor frowned slightly when, before he could draw his hand away, the snake reared its head back and bit him soundly on the edge of his thumb. 

“Loki,” Thor warned lowly, “That was unnecessary.” 

From the table, the distinct sound of Bruce snickering beneath his breath sounded, and when Thor turned back to face the table, there was a distinctly mischievous twinkle behind Heimdall’s eye. 

Only the Valkyrie was continuing to eye him warily, her mouth pinched into a slight frown. 

“He won’t be any trouble!” Thor promised quickly. 

“He just bit you.” Bruce pointed out, though the words were more teasing, than anything. 

“It was just a love nip.” Thor countered, and turned his head to peer warily at where the snake was already settling it’s head comfortably into the crook between his neck and shoulder. “I think.” 

There was no reply to that, and Thor took the silence as his cue to step forward and take the closest empty seat at the table across from his companions. 

“Does he want anything?” Bruce questioned, before Thor could steer the conversation elsewhere. “Water, or--” 

Thor blinked, somewhat stunned, before a slow, hopeful smile stretched across his face at the continued earnesty of Bruce’s expression. 

“I don’t think he’d have much use of it, in this form.” Thor pointed out, and felt Loki tuck his face further in against his shoulder at the words in something almost like agreement. 

That, or the illness was causing his stomach to upset him, and the idea of consuming even water was an unappealing one. The thought made Thor’s own stomach twist again, and he made a mental note to keep an eye out for the symptom, when Loki inevitably shifted back. 

“I thank you, however.” Thor continued aloud, and offered a slightly flustered looking Bruce a small nod. 

“It’s uh, nothing.” Bruce shrugged slightly and, though Loki was facing the opposite direction now, offered the snake a small smile. “Just let me know.” 

Throughout the conversation, the Valkyrie had continued to watch the snake around Thor’s shoulders with something like a small, considering frown on her face, though she quickly glanced away and shrugged slightly when Thor turned back to face the other occupants at the table, and immediately pulled one of the papers from the stack between them forward. 

“Been meaning to talk to you about fuel.” Val began with a quick glance up at Thor, “I think our next scheduled stop might be cutting it too close.”

Over the course of the next half hour, the conversation followed a similar pattern. Thor nodded along throughout, allowing Val and Heimdall to take the lead, and occasionally offering input of his own, though all present seemed to have come to the unspoken conclusion that his focus could not be fully relied upon, at the moment. 

In truth, Thor spent most of the conversation forcing himself to simply remain attentive, and not begin fussing over the now soundly slumbering serpent, once more. 

There was only so long Thor’s patience could hold out, however, and he could just feel his attention beginning to wander when the Valkyrie shifted and, while Bruce was preoccupied giving Heimdall an update on the ship’s repairs, placed a small object onto the table at Thor’s elbow. 

Caught up as he was willing himself to listen, Thor did not notice the movement for what it was until Val cleared her throat slightly, and he belatedly registered the object on the table as one of her capes, folded into a messy square about the size of Thor’s open palm. 

“In case he slips.” Val muttered beneath Bruce’s steady stream of information, and nodded to where Loki was, indeed, beginning to slowly slide off of Thor’s shoulder in his sleep. “Or if you want to see him. You look like you’re about to pull a muscle turning your head.” 

Something deep within Thor’s chest warmed at the words, though he knew better than to express his gratitude at the gesture as enthusiastically as he felt it. 

For all their loudly declared differences, the Valkyrie and Loki could react very similarly, when it came to receiving genuinely positive feedback. 

Therefore, Thor merely nodded minutely, and offered a crooked half-grin. 

“Thank you.” he murmured, before turning his attention back to Bruce’s continued line of conversation, and felt more than saw Val roll her eyes dramatically. 

He did catch sight of a small, reluctant smile out the corner of his eye, however, and decided to count it as a win. 

Particularly when Thor did end up utilizing the cape-- though it ended up more half draped over Loki than anything when, as Thor attempted to move him from his shoulder to the table, the snake hissed irritably before curling tightly around his forearm. 

It was worth it, however, to see the brief expression of satisfaction flicker over Val’s features at the movement, and the twin, knowing smiles on both Heimdall and Bruce’s faces. 

And, though Thor still felt as if his head was about to burst with the amount of questions still swimming within, he allowed himself to feel some modicum of comfort, now, knowing that he clearly wasn’t going to be facing the situation alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> their little family is just ;-;

**Author's Note:**

> psa to all, i absolutely _do_ have plans to continue the fluff/angst prompt fills that i've been sent ! however, i randomly received a number of asks requesting Loki shapeshifting content, and somehow got very enthusiastic about the idea
> 
> more of this story to come via weekly updates, so enjoy! as always, come say hi at my [tumblr !](http://littlekinng.tumblr.com) xx 
> 
> (also this is so much lighter and less angsty than my normal fare, idk what to do with myself) (also also yea the title is based off of lyrics by Bush. that's called poor taste babeyy)


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